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The Formula for Being
Happy W hen are we happy? When things go our way, when we're
in love, when friends call, when we're golfing or whatever? Sure, but if we depend on those, we're depending on things
external. Much better for happiness to come from within. I like this from
philosopher Iris Murdoch: "Happiness is a matter of one's most ordinary everyday mode of consciousness
being busy and lively and unconcerned with self." So being productively occupied helps, but that can't
be all. Shaw wrote, "We have no more right to consume happiness
without produc-ing it than to consume wealth without producing it." So we can be happier by making others
happy. Okay, I knew all that, but happiness still puzzled me. Where does
it come from? Over time, something bubbled up from a long ago art class
and I linked principles of fine paintings ~ balance, accent and flow ~ with good living. I let
that simmer, and over a decade other notions coalesced into: The Formula
for Being Happy: V2 x S2 x P2 x L2 = H. Here's what it means: V2 = Values times Vision.
S2 = Stability times Structure (of which balance, accent,
and flow are parts). P2 = Passion times Professionalism,
which together con-stitute Power. L2 = Love Given times
Love Received. H = Happiness, defined by Webster as "a state of
well-being characterized by relative perma-nence, by dominantly agreeable emotion ranging from mere contentment to deep and
intense joy in living, and by a natural desire for its continuation." Here's
the idea. If you are less than completely happy, the formula can help you figure out why. By subjectively rating each element,
you can get a sense of what's lacking and do something about it. It's good to get another's assessment ~ a friend,
spouse or adviser ~ since one's own perceptions may be skewed. For instance, say you're
happy with your values, but you're foggy on goals and you're also disorganized. You've been feeling flat, maybe
from bore-dom at work, maybe from getting older and out of shape. Finally, you love your mate but you deflect the love that
s/he gives back, perhaps feeling unworthy of it. So you've been in the dumps, not knowing
how to get out. But with the formula, you've identified why. Now you've got something specific on which to work, and
that by itself will tend to produce a greater sense of wellbeing or happiness. And you can go on from there, identifying what's still lacking and making plans to change. Let's say you decide
that your disorganization is symptomatic of being generally unprofessional, and you need to dig down to the source of that
in order to "get your act together." Great. Now you can make changes, maybe reaching out for help so to do. You
could reach out to a spouse, friend or counselor for help. Or to God if you are religiously or spiritually minded. Over time, the improving elements in the formula will reinforce each other. With greater confidence and ability to
make good changes, you soon you could experience the liberating happiness akin to that limned by the poet Rupert Brooke: Breathless, we flung us on the windy hill,
Laughed in the sun, and
kissed the lovely grass.
Personal Empowerment Program designed for you
Based on your FREE Assessment, we'll design your program to Enlighten, Empower, and Enrich you -- choosing
from these program sections:
• Vision, Goals, and Plans
-- long range and yearly; your Why.
• Managing Yourself
-- time, productivity, emotions, and stress.
• Creating Management Infrastructure
-- for smooth operations and robust growth.
•
Communicating and Selling
-- connecting with people; selling more easily.
•
Managing People and Projects
-- great results from persons and teams.
•
Enriching Your Life
-- balance, satisfaction, fulfillment.
Most clients get
weekly phone sessions of 50 minutes, often with assignments between sessions. Clients can initiate added phone
and email consults, often for no added fee.
Our coaching is results-oriented and insightful, encouraging and supportive, challenging and respectful.
We produce practical improvements rooted in worldly awareness and personal insights. Our clients' comments express stronger abilities to manage selves and others, to communicate and connect, and
to enjoy more rewarding ownership experiences and better balanced lives.
Start with...
Your Ten Dilemmas Survey. Or call us at 866.396.2626,
We're easy to talk with. Either way, you'll get a FREE Assessment Session, in which you will:
1. Target a key problem or goal.
2. Get on-track with a specific To-Do.
3. Learn first-hand how we’ll help.
Also hear our AUDIO:
Click for "What Excelera Can Do for You"
Click to download BROCHURES:
Owner and Executive Coaching
Self-Management and Life Coaching
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Empowering
Your
Inner Executive
"The executive system," para- phrasing Wikipedia,"Is...
involved in (mental) flexibility, planning, grasping rules, starting and stopping actions, and sorting sensory input."
We extend it, for coaching purposes, to external abilities like managing time, stuff and stress -- essential to getting
things done, and to enjoying your accomplishments. Very often, a client begins needing a slumbering Inner Executive awakened,
or a rebellious one redirected, enabling more rapid and consistent progress in everything else.
Questions to Awaken Your Inner Executive:
• What to change from bad to good?
•
From good to great?
• What is my payoff for resisting?
• Do I make the time to start?
• Or do
I wait for "right times"?
• When if not now?
• What do I want in 5 and 10 years?
•
What are my plans to achieve it?
Your Inner Executive is powerful. He/she manages you 24/7
-- all day, every day -- for better or worse. And he's stubborn. Why? Because he's afraid.
Of what? Messing up. Making mistakes. "But he's full of mistakes!" you might say. He
doesn't know it, or if he suspects it, he's not motivated enought to take the risk to try something new.
"So now what?" you ask.
Coaching. A good coach will help your Inner
Exec to start making practical changes, see the benefits, and reinforce the changes. We're talking planning, implementation,
problem solving, projecting results, revising plans, managing stress, and dealing with your natural resistance to change.
You'll be relieved of many problems and feel a lot better.
A great coach will do that, and enable you to become your own coach, directing your
Inner Executive to support, not hinder, your greater goals. You and your Inner Executive will do more than
you thought possible, and enjoy it more too. So whether you choose to be out-and-about...
or working
from the comfort of home...
we'll
help you to reach more goals, and enjoy the goals and the journey more.
How to start:
1. Call us at 866.396.2626.
2. Complete your Ten Dilemmas assessment survey.
Either way, you'll get a FREE Assessment in which to prioritize
needs and goals, and learn first-hand how we help.
And click for this:
Excerpts from A Primer on Leadership.
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